When I was 10 years old I learnt about my diagnosis that was OCD, you know that is obsessive - compulsive disorder. I had different oddities such as for example to sit down and then stand up several times in a minute or touch something just three times or as much as I thought I had to do to make my anxiety quiet down.
It seemed to me that if I did not do some action a certain number of times - then something unpleasant might happen to me or people that were around me and only after accomplishing my rituals I felt that everything should be well until my next attack of worry and anxiety.
20 years passed and I tried to assure myself that on the contrary I should not do these actions as if I started to do them - it would mean that something wrong should come. Not very pleasant auto-suggestion but what could I do? I tried to struggle with my own fears and worries and was searching for any ways to do it as it became especially very important for my adult life and mutual relations with surrounding people. Especially I thought about my relatives and my close people who could suffer watching I was going crazy.
I stopped my rituals but my anxiety started to grow quicker and quicker and I did not see from where I could wait for help. I decided to take anti-depressants but they did not give me a desired effect and pulse rate remained high even at a resting rate. Sometimes after another dose I had even more serious attacks than earlier!
At last I addressed to my doctor who placed me on Depakote (a mood regulator) and Xanax 1 mg, 3 times a day. That was the beginning of my pure happy life. Finally I could allow myself to control my actions and forget about fears and troubles which were also in my head and which I could not get away no matter how I tried.
I forgot about attacks and now I can live a free life as long as I take the medicines following the correct doses and my doctor’s instructions as for their use. Of course it is very difficult to accept the medicaments as a way out because there is always a fear that my attack may repeat. Who knows how long it will be possible to get a prescription for the drug and what if I fail to do this? I understand that it is the only one thing that helps me to control myself…
I’m trying to fight with such thoughts but may be the best way out is to accept it. I truly think that without my Xanax for example I will face a real nervous breakdown as my panic attacks last during about 6 hours.
But I still believe that we should hope for our success!
Samantha Albert (Unates States), AnxietyOnlinePharmacy.com Customer…
